My First Born Child celebrates a landmark birthday today. My Joey is 30. Normally, I don't heed too, too much attention on adult birthdays preferring to celebrate the life of those I love everyday, not just one day a year. But this one is getting to me. Perhaps because if falls in a week that I have faced an array of challenges to this Life After Motherhood stage I am still trying to find my way through. One child's indifference, one showing signs that the nest may not be such a bad place to fly into now and then, and facing the reality of one who's wings will fly far away with the knowledge that all of that furthers the mental separation as well.
I loved my life at 30.
I wondered at every thing my my oldest did because it was new to me as well. My second had (and still does) a zest for adventure that I marveled at having no such in my own life. My long awaited 3rd child was the happiest and most content child ever given to a busy mom. I knew that someday the spirit that would be my 4th would one day grace my life.
And so on this morning, I found myself baking cupcakes to bring to my son a lunchtime to share with his co workers.
The very same cupcakes...chocolate with cream cheese and mini chip filling...that I baked to bring in to share with his class when he was 8 years old.